One of my favourites is about soup.
Everyone in Russia knows that soup is at its best the day after it is made.
"Would you like some of yesterday's soup?"
"Oh, yes please!"
"Well come back tomorrow. I've just made it."
There is a lot of humour about the trials of life and its misfortunes:
Political candidate making speech - "Whilst in power my rival robbed the people of everything to make himself rich. I implore you to now give me a chance."
*
Politician -"The banking crisis is over and the customers having nothing to lose."
*
'It's as crazy as advertising vodka.'
*
'No matter how much vodka I drink my body is still 80% water. I keep trying though.'
There is a lot of dark humour:
"Oh husband why are you beating me. I've done nothing wrong."
"I know. If you had then I would kill you."
and
"Husband I have a terrible pain in my head."
"Good. I have no need to hit it with the pan."
(n.b. There is no evidence to suggest that Russian men beat their wives. No more than any other nation!)
The language does not allow me to fully appreciate the stand-up comedians on the TV but I see a lot of physical humour in the acts - a lot of clowning.
Communist joke:
A train breaks down in the middle of Siberia.
Leninist: "The noble communist railway engineers will work costantly and diligently until the train moves again."
Stalinist: "The railway engineers are useless. Shoot them and find some more."
Neo communist: "Let's shut the curtains, go chuff-chuff-chuff, and pretend the train is still moving."
A favourite film from 1975 is a story about the uniformity of life in Soviet Russia. A man gets drunk with his friends. He ends up on a 'plane from Moscow to St Petersburg. When he gets there (still drunk) he tells the taxi his address. The taxi takes him to an identical block on an identical street. He enters an identical hallway with the same piles of clutter. He finds a door identical to his own and (eventually) the key fits! He enters and the furniture and layout are identical to his own in Moscow. When the (very pretty) owner arrives he tells her to get out of his house. The love story then gets going.
Showing posts with label Russia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Russia. Show all posts
Wednesday, 16 January 2008
Tuesday, 15 January 2008
Russian National Hobby
Are you curious?
Well - the Russian National Hobby is 'Ill Health'!
The first suspicion I had was on my first visit to Moscow. There are pharmacies on every street corner, in every supermarket and all available spaces in between. A bit like pubs in England.
If you ask a Russian how they are you will get a full, detailed and comprehensive answer!
Many drugs are uncontrolled. You can go and buy any anti-biotic for instance in the local pharmacy. There is little consideration of which anti-biotic is suitable for which type of infection. The decision is based on non-professional advice and hearsay.
'Ill Health' is a favourite topic of conversation. Olga will chat to her friends for hours on the telephone about various conditions that I might suffer from e.g. a skin rash, a stomach complaint, and the advice will come tumbling in. There is apparently no need to interview, nor examine the patient. Of course the advice you recieve will be different depending on which particular friend was consulted :-)
The amount of common knowledge on health issues is considerable.
There is little faith amongst Russians in the body's ability to heal itself. A medicine is a must and to tolerate a condition patiently, whilst the body does its work, is considered ridiculous. Why suffer when you can take drugs? There is no understanding that the drugs (uncontrolled) might be doing more permanent harm and that the body will be less well prepared when the next outbreak happens. Nature's ability to do the healing is not trusted.
I am not sure of the reasons for this obsession. It could pehaps be the inhospitable climate, the polluted atmosphere of the city, the 24 hour lifestyle or another, particular phenomenon, which I have not heard referred to in the same context: atmospheric conditions and related fluctuations in the earth's magnetic field...
Olga and her family are convinced that these natural phenomena are responsible for changes in health. I cannot speak for other Muscovites. It usually is identified by default -
"I feel a bit 'off colour' today"
"Must be the change in air pressure/magnetic field."
End of discussion.
I will concede that that these phenomena tend to be more dramatically intense in the centre of a large land mass.
The Moscow (Russian) public health system is generally good. You can see a doctor without too much trouble or waiting time. There is one major organisational system that the NHS could learn from: the local surgeries have a selection of specialists on site (ear/nose/throat/, neurologist, gynaecologist etc.) and these can be seen without long winded referrals. In fact, if you know what the problem is, you can more or less go straight to the specialist.
I feel a little unwell. Must have sat on a magnet at some point today.
Do svedanya,
Graham
Factoid:Russians do not steal sink plugs - they have the very healthy habit of always washing under running water and have no need of them.
Well - the Russian National Hobby is 'Ill Health'!
The first suspicion I had was on my first visit to Moscow. There are pharmacies on every street corner, in every supermarket and all available spaces in between. A bit like pubs in England.
If you ask a Russian how they are you will get a full, detailed and comprehensive answer!
Many drugs are uncontrolled. You can go and buy any anti-biotic for instance in the local pharmacy. There is little consideration of which anti-biotic is suitable for which type of infection. The decision is based on non-professional advice and hearsay.
'Ill Health' is a favourite topic of conversation. Olga will chat to her friends for hours on the telephone about various conditions that I might suffer from e.g. a skin rash, a stomach complaint, and the advice will come tumbling in. There is apparently no need to interview, nor examine the patient. Of course the advice you recieve will be different depending on which particular friend was consulted :-)
The amount of common knowledge on health issues is considerable.
There is little faith amongst Russians in the body's ability to heal itself. A medicine is a must and to tolerate a condition patiently, whilst the body does its work, is considered ridiculous. Why suffer when you can take drugs? There is no understanding that the drugs (uncontrolled) might be doing more permanent harm and that the body will be less well prepared when the next outbreak happens. Nature's ability to do the healing is not trusted.
I am not sure of the reasons for this obsession. It could pehaps be the inhospitable climate, the polluted atmosphere of the city, the 24 hour lifestyle or another, particular phenomenon, which I have not heard referred to in the same context: atmospheric conditions and related fluctuations in the earth's magnetic field...
Olga and her family are convinced that these natural phenomena are responsible for changes in health. I cannot speak for other Muscovites. It usually is identified by default -
"I feel a bit 'off colour' today"
"Must be the change in air pressure/magnetic field."
End of discussion.
I will concede that that these phenomena tend to be more dramatically intense in the centre of a large land mass.
The Moscow (Russian) public health system is generally good. You can see a doctor without too much trouble or waiting time. There is one major organisational system that the NHS could learn from: the local surgeries have a selection of specialists on site (ear/nose/throat/, neurologist, gynaecologist etc.) and these can be seen without long winded referrals. In fact, if you know what the problem is, you can more or less go straight to the specialist.
I feel a little unwell. Must have sat on a magnet at some point today.
Do svedanya,
Graham
Factoid:Russians do not steal sink plugs - they have the very healthy habit of always washing under running water and have no need of them.
Monday, 14 January 2008
Who's afraid of the big bad bear?
Russia still holds a secure place in Western paranoia and prejudice.
Some of Olga's ex-pat relatives in Canada speak fearfully of returning to their home country; quoting street shootings, bombings by Chechyans and control of Moscow by thugs and criminals. This paranoia is fed by the N American media. US citizens suffer generally from paranoia. It accounts for their foreign policy -"They're all out to get us, so let's get them first".
When Vladimir Putin declared his annoyance and intended intolerance of having vast ranges of US missiles placed in neighbouring countries he was immediately cast as the bad guy by the Western press. You don't have to stand back very far to see that he might have a point!
Five years ago (when things were supposed to be considerably more insecure)I found myself cut adrift in the centre of Moscow (Pushkinploshad!)late in the evening. I did not speak the language and I was on my own. I felt as safe as I have in any town or city anywhere on the planet. It was certainly a lot, lot safer than the centre of Huddersfield on a Friday night at 'chucking out time'. The atmosphere was friendly and relaxed. There was no boisterous or unruly behaviour and the pavement cafe's were full of happy people. I caught their mood and loved it.
Moscow is not a war zone. So you can safely assume that it is mainly full of ordinary people going about their ordinary business, with no interest in attacking foreigners etc. There is a custom of flagging down passing motorists and requesting a lift (for a small fee). In the UK this would be considered a high risk move because our press persuades us that the streets are swarming with rapists, muggers, child molesters and murderers. In Moscow it hardly gets a second thought.
Before the revolution Russia was part of a greater Eurpopean cultural movement. After the revolution we even let it continue to take part in our wars! It belongs with us historically and should be treated as part of our culture again.
It is a very cuddly bear if you are nice to it.
Do svedanya
Graham
Factoid: Moscow has 6 mosques
Some of Olga's ex-pat relatives in Canada speak fearfully of returning to their home country; quoting street shootings, bombings by Chechyans and control of Moscow by thugs and criminals. This paranoia is fed by the N American media. US citizens suffer generally from paranoia. It accounts for their foreign policy -"They're all out to get us, so let's get them first".
When Vladimir Putin declared his annoyance and intended intolerance of having vast ranges of US missiles placed in neighbouring countries he was immediately cast as the bad guy by the Western press. You don't have to stand back very far to see that he might have a point!
Five years ago (when things were supposed to be considerably more insecure)I found myself cut adrift in the centre of Moscow (Pushkinploshad!)late in the evening. I did not speak the language and I was on my own. I felt as safe as I have in any town or city anywhere on the planet. It was certainly a lot, lot safer than the centre of Huddersfield on a Friday night at 'chucking out time'. The atmosphere was friendly and relaxed. There was no boisterous or unruly behaviour and the pavement cafe's were full of happy people. I caught their mood and loved it.
Moscow is not a war zone. So you can safely assume that it is mainly full of ordinary people going about their ordinary business, with no interest in attacking foreigners etc. There is a custom of flagging down passing motorists and requesting a lift (for a small fee). In the UK this would be considered a high risk move because our press persuades us that the streets are swarming with rapists, muggers, child molesters and murderers. In Moscow it hardly gets a second thought.
Before the revolution Russia was part of a greater Eurpopean cultural movement. After the revolution we even let it continue to take part in our wars! It belongs with us historically and should be treated as part of our culture again.
It is a very cuddly bear if you are nice to it.
Do svedanya
Graham
Factoid: Moscow has 6 mosques
Thursday, 3 January 2008
Music
There is a distinct difference in the way in which 'classical' music is treated in Russia from how we treat it in the West.
Russian artistes are highly revered and well known amongst certain circles (outside of 'popular' culture) so when a concert-goer looks for entertainment they look for the artiste first and the composer second. This is reflected in recorded music in that CD sleeve notes often tell a lot about the performers and very little, or nothing about the composer and the musicology.
Moscow is like any other capital city in that there is always something to go and see or liten to - every day of the year.
My one and only visit to the Bolshoi (the 'Big' theatre)was disappointing. It was a performance of Verdi's Nabucco. The opera was fine but the audience was appalling! They were tourists - only there because a visit to the Bolshoi was 'a must', and they had no idea how to behave: cameras flashing, phones ringing and the French woman next to me started singing along to the chorus of the Hebrew slaves. It was more akin to music hall.
Russian audiences are very well behaved; in fact I think they take a collective pride in knowing how to behave.
I have fond memories of a performance of Don Giovanni which took place in a small theatre close to Red Square: the singing was extraordinary, the production original and exciting whilst the audience was reverential and highly appreciative. This is a normal experience in Moscow concert halls and theatres.
It is -17C out there today. Olga and I are waiting for it to warm up to around -10C before we venture out!
Do Svedanya,
Graham
Factoid: Red Square has always been called that and has nothing to do with Communism.
Russian artistes are highly revered and well known amongst certain circles (outside of 'popular' culture) so when a concert-goer looks for entertainment they look for the artiste first and the composer second. This is reflected in recorded music in that CD sleeve notes often tell a lot about the performers and very little, or nothing about the composer and the musicology.
Moscow is like any other capital city in that there is always something to go and see or liten to - every day of the year.
My one and only visit to the Bolshoi (the 'Big' theatre)was disappointing. It was a performance of Verdi's Nabucco. The opera was fine but the audience was appalling! They were tourists - only there because a visit to the Bolshoi was 'a must', and they had no idea how to behave: cameras flashing, phones ringing and the French woman next to me started singing along to the chorus of the Hebrew slaves. It was more akin to music hall.
Russian audiences are very well behaved; in fact I think they take a collective pride in knowing how to behave.
I have fond memories of a performance of Don Giovanni which took place in a small theatre close to Red Square: the singing was extraordinary, the production original and exciting whilst the audience was reverential and highly appreciative. This is a normal experience in Moscow concert halls and theatres.
It is -17C out there today. Olga and I are waiting for it to warm up to around -10C before we venture out!
Do Svedanya,
Graham
Factoid: Red Square has always been called that and has nothing to do with Communism.
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