The price of independence

I have just had a few days caring for my 89 year old father. It has been an eye-opener!
Mother (87) needed a break. She is fit, alert and active so I packed her off to Belgium for a stay with my brother. The original intention was that Olga and I stayed with him and cared for him but Olga had a work offer she could not refuse and so I was left on my own.
He can just manage to walk short distances, has had three strokes and is seriously senile. He can dress himself (but needs tidying up afterwards!), eats well but slowly and has all the bathroom lifts and hoists to be able to keep himself clean.
Seems to be OK you think. The physical coping is not the problem - it is the mental onslaught of the loss of short-term memory..
He doesn't know where mother is. He keeps asking and I tell him all day long . He immediately forgets. If you say something it has to be repeated. It is partly deafness but partly senility. He forgets he has just eaten and asks for his dinner 10 minutes after finishing. This goes on all day long and there is just no escape.
I put him in the car and we go for a drive, just to have a change of scene. All through the ride he asks where we are going and I make up a destination just to say something.
There are blessed moments in the evening when he falls asleep in his chair or stares blankly at whatever is on the TV.

It is out of love for the dear old chap that I remain patient but it occurs to me that an employee in a care-home will not have this attitude. I am determined that both parents will keep their independence no matter what it takes. I see myself in him, 30 years on, and know what I would want for myself.